he wants to bone in the snuggie
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
