Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
