thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
