dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
