She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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