saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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