I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
