I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
