You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize