Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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