There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
birth control should be required to get into college
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Randomize
