I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
