thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
