Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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