i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
