he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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