eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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