we have officially lost it.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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