How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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