Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize