I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize