if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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