he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
