What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
