Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
