Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think I won the penis lottery.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Randomize
