Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
