Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize