You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
