1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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