Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
