Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My balls are so social today.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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