im drinking this country out of the recession.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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