did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
