if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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