Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm at about main and main street
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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