the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
