You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
