She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
