He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
