He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
