did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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