i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
