i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Someone stole a lamp last night.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
