at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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