i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Apparently you make a good broom.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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