Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
