she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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