i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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