plz talk dirty to me
honey bunches of taint.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
