Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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