my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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