But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
