I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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