he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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