I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
there's paper in my vomit.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
