I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
