I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
