Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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