He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
