The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
