and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
you never un-have a 4some
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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