Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
