i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
