Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
