Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so let's talk penis.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
