I got chris browned last night
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
