I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
