look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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