You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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